It was a gorgeous, sunny day in late May. Adam and I stood up at the altar in my tiny childhood church with the flaming red carpet. We were nervous and embarrassed as could be, standing in front of several hundred friends and family members. He was only 19, and I wasn't much older at 20. We were young kids, madly in love but with no concept of life in the real world.
We said our vows, nonchalantly reciting the words "For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part." We had NO CLUE what we were signing up for!!
I honestly associated love with a warm and fuzzy feeling, and to be honest, it worked for a while! And by a while, I mean an entire month or so. We ended up with a honeymoon baby, and nobody prepared me for the hormonal and exhausted monster that lived inside of me that viciously ripped those rose-colored glasses off of my fresh, young face.
Suddenly, reality hit like a wrecking ball. There were bills to pay and a mortgage payment that came knocking on our door every month. Is it scandalous to admit that there were times when I was frustrated with my dashing groom?
Here's the deal. If you are an experienced, veteran, married person, you are rolling your eyes, like, duh!! That's called love, honey! Yes, love will occasionally bless you with an overwhelming feeling, but the reality is that most of the time, it is a self-sacrificing decision. But let me tell you that it is worth every bit of effort.
Here's an example of what I mean. I hope that by the time this post is published, I will be holding my new baby in my arms. Having gone through six previous labors, I can almost assure you that this one will be just as excruciating and exhausting. But I willingly do it again and again out of love for my amazing family.
I willingly wake up countless times in the middle of the night to feed this tiny human. Not because I want to—I love sleep just as much as anyone! Out of love for this beautiful baby, I willingly sacrifice my wants for this child's needs.
I have 6 older kids, too, and for any of you parents out there, you can also attest that having kids, in general, is the ultimate self-sacrifice of love. As much as I would just love to stay in my cozy recliner with a riveting book, I get up to give a child a drink of water as an act of love for him or her.
Self-sacrificing is the key to lasting, satisfying, and sanctifying marriage. My dear husband is the king of this. He will put my needs, and oftentimes even my whiny little wants, before his every day of the week.
He reminds me a lot of the main character in the New Testament—a man who loved unconditionally and radically, so strongly that he would rather die than face eternity without us. In fact, he submitted himself to the most cruel torture and death because his love for us was stronger than the pain he experienced.
Let's redefine culture's lie about love. It has nothing to do with momentary pleasure but has everything to do with a treasure that has benefits that last an eternity.
Until next time my dear friends- your sister in Christ,
Leah
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