“Johnny, come back here!”
“Johnny, get out of the toilet!”
“John, get off the table!”
“Johnny, no biting!”
“John Brix, quit digging in the garbage!”
The name John is the most spoken name in the Brix household at the moment. Mr. John is a redheaded walking terror. He celebrated his first birthday last week, so stands 2 feet tall but has the personality of a giant. He has filled out his cowboy movie star name- John Brix, quite perfectly.
He is currently sitting at my feet tearing a piece of paper to shreds, which is distracting him from unplugging my computer cords…again.
It’s kind of funny thinking that last fall, I was 9 months pregnant, and unsure of what gender I was having. I wrestled with a few girls names and flip-flopped them around some, especially at the end. But our boys name, John, was never questioned. If the tiny life inside of me was to be a boy, he was going to be given the name honoring one of the greatest saints- St. John the Beloved.
John met Jesus while fishing with his brother, James, on the Sea of Galilee (Luke 5:1-11). He was part of Jesus’ tightest circle which also included Peter and James. It was Peter, James, and John who were the privileged three to see Jesus in His radiant glory, and it was those same three who were there while Jesus agonized in the garden on the night before He died.
I have always gotten a kick out of good ol’ Peter, and have a son by that namesake as well. He is bold yet rash. But recently, I have fallen in love with John. How he contrasts Peter! There are so many ways to ponder their differences, but the one I am most interested in today is their behavior on Holy Thursday night.
In John 13:21-30, Jesus foretells His betrayal to his disciples. He says, “Truly, truly I say to you, one of you will betray me.” At this point, the disciples start exchanging looks, trying to figure out who the heck the snake is.
Sweet John is reclining next to Jesus, so Peter curls his pointer finger in the universal beckoning motion, and when John leans towards him, Peter asks him to figure out the culprit.
John asks Jesus, and Jesus tells him, “It is he to whom I shall give this morsel when I have dipped it.” We know that the next line reads that He gave that morsel to Judas, who then leaves, although there is a discrepancy among the remaining disciples as to why he left.
Tradition holds that John may have been the only one to hear Jesus say who His betrayer was. It makes sense to me because if John had whispered his findings back to Peter, Peter would have done something wild, like rush out the door, knife in hand, to apprehend Judas, and stop him from doing anything that would hurt his Master.
Why do I speculate that way? Peter cut off the high priest’s slave’s right ear as Jesus was getting arrested just hours after Judas ate the morsel given to him by Jesus.
So what exactly did John do after finding out who was going to betray Jesus? The most important work a person can do. He rested his head upon Jesus’ breast and adored Him.
When we experience the greatest trials in life, we want to lash out and fix them ourselves. We feel that God has abandoned us anyway, so tend to react violently. That death, that addiction, that diagnosis, that cross that feels much too hard to carry. We want to DO something, like cutting off a proverbial ear because we are angry or hurt.
Here is why I am so in love with St. John the Beloved. He lays his head on the breast of Our Lord, silently adoring and worshiping Him. And it is the grace in doing so that allowed him to be the only disciple to stand at the foot of the cross.
Our crosses can be so scary and so heavy sometimes, but when we come to Our Lord in Eucharistic Adoration or even just silent prayer, it gives us the strength to stand courageously at the foot of our own cross.
Thankfully, this unbelievable saint is the patron of my cowboy baby. I pray that through his calm intercession, he can give me the grace to be patient as I help form and guide his Peter spirit into a zealous, charismatic, warrior for Christ.
St. John, Beloved Disciple of Our Lord, pray for us.
St. Peter, the rock upon which the Catholic Church was founded, pray for us.
Until next time, your sister in Christ,
Leah
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